Bathroom Banters
by po0kiee
Summary: Well, Kankurou and Gaara are in the bathroom having a manly man to man conversation... What if Temari listens to their conversation and finds out what they are so deeply interested in... And whom? SOME SUGGESTIVE MATURE THEMES


**Note: **Hullo! I made this based on a conversation I had with my sister… It's kind of inappropriate I suppose but… Here goes. I warn you, however, if you…. Oh never mind, it'll spoil it. Remember, this is a one-shot crackish sort of story. Gaara will be out of character. I don't know why I made 'banters' the title. XD

'_blah blah' _– thinking

_(A/N: blah blah) _– Author's note.

PS. Ignore the 'blah blah'

**Disclaimer: **Well, I don't own Naruto, but I'm a crazy psycho bum. Enjoy.

Bathroom Banters.

Temari approached the bathroom with great caution, knowing that Gaara and Kankurou were in, taking a bath or something more manly, rather. Maybe a man to man talk, to be very manly indeed? Temari sat back on her haunches, her ear held to the door listening for anything important. Maybe about whom they like or how they feel about someone else? Careful not to let a peep out, she pressed a hand against her mouth as well as placing a hand on the dark wood door.

"Hey, Gaara, who do you like?" A familiar voice spoke. It must be Kankurou.

"I don't. What about you?" Gaara' more youthful voice slithered out to Temari's sneaky ears.

"I don't either. Although Tenten is quite the looker," Temari absolutely knew that Kankurou would be smiling devilishly right about _now_. "So baby brother Gaara, who do you like? I mean, you can't be… gay." Temari mentally slapped herself.

"Even I know that Gaara isn't a homosexual…" Temari muttered, and then mentally slapped herself again. Not a peep!

"Well I'm certainly not gay… I… um… Sakura…" Gaara mumbled shyly.

'_Sakura?! Are you freaken outta your mind?!' _Temari screamed at… well, herself. No, her baby brother Gaara would not, absolutely not crush on that – that – skank! _(A/N: I personally like Sakura, I am just trying to add some character…. Sorry!)_

"Ooh, she's a cutie. Of course I would go for her but Tenten is much more of my type." Kankurou grinned.

A few moments later when they are finished talking about their dream girls…

Temari popped her snot bubble as she awoke, Kankurou and Gaara still chattering, but about something _different._

"Mine is **so** big," _splash, splash, _"it's way bigger than yours."

"No, it isn't. I'm the Kazekage; I have the biggest one of all the men in Suna. I checked."

"Nope, then you haven't checked mine out yet." _Splash, splash,_ "See?"

"Oh Kami, it's humongous! Have a lookit mine! Mine is at **least** 15 inches tall when it's erect!"

"That is tall but mine is so much taller. Feel it!"

Temari's eyes grew round. Were they talking about what she thought they were talking about? Temari was getting interested yet disgusted. She held her ear closer to the door.

"That's really soft! What did you use for it?" Temari heard Gaara's questioning voice.

"Hmm, my secret is using lotion. It kind of makes it all slippery when it's wet but it really works. I mean, it moves around way better."

"Really? I have to use your idea sometime."

"Go ahead. But use Temari's lotion, it really works way better. You know the face lotion? It's so much smoother that way."

Temari almost gagged. Her facial lotion for their… Ohmigod.

"Okay, if you say so. I'll try it right now since the bathtub is filling up." _Splish, splash…_

Temari burst. She swung the door open quickly, her eyes burning with flames. Gaara had a towel wrapped tightly over his waist while Kankurou was sitting on the toilet lid with also, a pink towel wrapped around his waist.

"Yargh! Temari!" Kankurou leaped up from his spot and covered up something in his hands. "Wait… Were you eavesdropping on us…?" A wet pearl ran down Temari's forehead.

"Um… Yeah…?" She smiled innocently. "But it was so irresistible! You guys were talking about…something else, weren't you?" Temari sweatdropped again.

"We were?" Kankurou arched a brow.

"Huh? We were?" Gaara repeated. How odd.

"Yeah… weren't you?" Temari crossed her arms, "What about when you said it was at least 15… ugh… inches when it was… ugh… erect…?" Kankurou and Gaara laughed maniacally.

"No! We were talking about our plastic puppets! You know, the ones we use to play with when the professional puppeteer, ahem, me, is not busy?" Kankurou coughed.

"Yeah! My puppet is kind of limpy so it won't stand tall. But it is 15 inches when it is erect! I measured!" Gaara smirked, "What did you think, otherwise?" Gaara said in a sort of mocking way. Temari smiled.

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all." And with that, she backed away from the bathroom.

Le fin.


End file.
